Just to be clear about the furniture issue

The whole episode about "don't talk, don't give opinion, just obey, you are furniture" was just a temporary thing.. I was too annoying beyond the normal and he needed to shut me up I guess.. which somehow I didn't get at all at that time (that it was a temporary thing) and had all that drama about it the other day (not kidding it was a full day of intense drama)... I'm a drama queen, I feed on these things.. you really need to be very specific around me about these issues

To be honest the "obey" part I have no trouble with.. the "talk" part is not a major bummer either...

The "don't give opinion" part was the killer... I have to sound my opinion.... I have a lot to say about anything and everything.. And I do believe I make pretty good arguments and my opinion is worth listening to (I'm not kidding, it is).. and not to express my opinions and argue for them is, well, somehow a death sentence. Literally sometimes I need to say a comment or I feel its held in my throat.. I'm going to walk around annoyed with it all day until it comes out..

I do know I'm treading on very thin ice here.. holding my tongue is an ongoing challenge... but I guess I will figure it out...

To Be Tied or Not To Be Tied

So there I am, infront of the new bamboo frame that He had ordered (tailor made)... and only my neck is loosely attached to the frame..  what? no hands tied to the frame? 

And I had to keep them out of the way with my own free will.. Not easy... had to take my hand away at the right time before the whip caught it (it did catch it once, smarted like hell)... but to avoid this happening with the cane I actually managed not to reach back at all when the cane was used... fear of the cane is not to be underestimated

Lots of laughs and was such a turn on

More to tell about that day later

What's a sub? Confused

What's a sub? Is it a piece of furniture?

If that's the case I don't want to be one...

I understand the whole concept of obeying, but there's a difference between obeying and feeling stamped on. I can't obey when I feel you demand it just to put your plans first and mine last. A legitimate excuse to put me in second place. Why should your plans be upheld and mine be crushed? Because you're Dom and you get to decide and demand obedience. It is your right as a Dom. But does this mean I always have to settle for second place? Maybe a sub's place is always second place. Does this mean I have to say "yes sir" and obey even if I feel crushed? I don't wanna feel crushed. Maybe I wanna be equal in some things. Maybe if I plan something 2 days ahead you don't get to cancel it because you felt like doing something else. I don't wanna take it and smile and say "yes sir" and be enthusiastic about whatever other plans you have. If that's what it takes to be sub then maybe I'm not a sub.

I'm not a piece of furniture, that i know for sure

30 Days of Submission Challenge

Its a list of 30 questions about submission, and everyday you answer a specific question. I'm going to be doing this for the next 30 days.

I've seen this around the web many times before, but I haven't even read the questions. I was not interested... in the past I was only intrigued and fantisizing about this lifestyle. But not now...  today as soon as I saw it, I knew I wanted to do this. Now I'm a real sub and lately I've been stumbling a lot in definitions.

So I'm doing this challenge for me... to discover more about myself.

 

Pain and Tears 2

Sometime ago I wrote this post (link) about not crying during a session.. well its not true anymore, I've been crying a lot during sessions lately..

The most I have cried had to be in a session similar to the below picture.. except my hands were tied to my ankles and a bar was pressed behind my knees.. The cane was concentrating mostly on "sit area" and upper thighs
It was a punishment session.. I was rude for a week so I guess I had it coming.. I didn't expect it would be this severe and maybe the guilt factor was playing its part as well.. I appreciated the long hug I got afterwards and it came with a lot of tears and a sincere apology.. it was a first

After that I didn't shy about crying.. the other day I was crying during a session just to release stress rather than crying from pain.. its a nice reset button

Human foot mat

When I wrote the previous post I didn't think that it will lead to this...

Here I was sleeping on my back on the floor.. his two feet resting on me... "resting" doesn't quite cut it... gagging my mouth at times.. on my throat at others.. pressing down my breasts and tummy..

To be honest, I was more than a little defiant in the morning... openly challenging if you may... and he did promise me "this evening you will cry"...

And I did

Humbled

Keep me kneeling down....
Keep me at your feet... that's where I belong... that's where I want to stay for the rest of my life
It makes me feel at peace.. no worry in the world... I'm being taken care of

On a totally different note LOVE LOVE LOVE her hair

A day to remember - Squirting

August 28

I was having a long orgasm.. very intense... it felt as if it was going through my whole body.. then I felt liquid.. liquid?? For a second there I thought I peed and I was mortified... then it suddenly hit me.. omg omg omg I'm actually squirting... I remember  he said "don't stop" and I was thinking "honey I absolutely have no control over this?"

I never thought that one day I would be able to do this. I've always been a solo girl.. always had trouble having an orgasm with someone.. and I'm talking simple fingers to pussy orgasm. Fast forward a few months and I'm amazed at the transformation I had...Here I was on my back.. legs tied far apart to each window corner.. my hands tied behind my back.. and He is working the hitachi magic over my pussy.. and I explode!!! He made me squirt!!! I wish we caught it on camera, but we were both so amazed by the surprised we just kept staring..  I have a huge feeling of accomplishment!

Thoughts from within a session

Is it weird that I have whole conversations inside my head during a session? Let me share a bit...

So the session starts.. i'm face up.. my back flat on a bean bag ... but its not horizontal.. its inclined so that the highest part is my hips (well my pussy actually) and my head is on the floor.. my legs are forced spread apart with a spreader and my hands are tied below my head..

At this point my stream of thinking goes like this: "My back is not comfortable"..
"can't I just raise my legs so I'm more cozy?"....
"Oh I just drank Martini what if I throw up"...
"My head is bound to get light with all the blood rushing in it like this"..
"no way I will be able to stay in this position long"...
"oh my it must be quiet a view with my pussy on display like this"...

I see him approaching with a whip... I'm screaming inside my head noooooooo....
"I thought I was in a perfect position for a wonderful session with the hitachi."...
"why is there a whip?"...
" no no no I don't want the whip"...

My train of thoughts is cut short by the first lash on my poor stomach... I'm no longer concerned about my back being uncomfortable or that I want to raise my legs... I voice out my complaints, I'm not sure what I was saying, but a few seconds afterwards I was roughly gagged with a rough order to "shut up".. I was also blindfolded...

With the next set of lashes I'm back in my thoughts...
"I'm too exposed.. I'm too stretched"..
"this hurts I want it to stop"...

Then it stops... I regulate my breath.. the initial sting is fading..
"more pls.. I want more"...
"I can take this I want more"...
"why did you stop I want more"...

It restarts and stops and restarts.. interrupted by conversations... the same thoughts of "I can't take it".. "I want more" is repeated over and over

Then comes a longer pause than usual... He's at my leg restraints.. I voice out the strangest statement anyone can possibly say in this compromising position... very confidently I say:
"I Can Take More"

My subconscious screams at me.."wtf? did you just say that outloud? are you brain dead?

I count out loud 54 more lashes...

And I did get this wonderful time with the hitachi afterwards...

I sit here smiling.. 

High heels and Stockings

New rules apply... until further notice I should be in stockings and high heels during all of our sessions...

One problem.. I didn't have the mid thigh stockings, I had the ones that go all the way up to the waist... But it worked just fine... but now looking at the above picture, I know I will be buying those stockings and garter belt!

So there I was yesterday.. dressed in nothing but my sheer black pantyhose (tights)... black&white 15cms (6inches) pointy heals... a light pink anklet.. my new soft leather collar with nipple clamps attached... My new silicon blindfold and ball gag...

I stood there like a piece of decoration... waiting...

if only you knew

If only you know how much I don't wanna go

If only you know how much I want to spend every minute with you

It drives me insane  to think i will be far away

Can't i just stay here?

I don't wanna be on my own

Why are the days so crowded this week? why can't we find time to be together?

Its so not fair

Strangulation

I like it when you place your hand on my neck.. I freeze and just look at you... I like your grip strong..  I wanna kiss you passionately and long... You tighten your grip more.. I know you will never reach the point where it would affect my breathing... I hang there on the edge.. I feel my whole body respond.. I'm yours... I drip with lust

Remember When..?

Remember when I used to say: hit harder...I'm not made of glass... I won't break

I don't say this anymore

This...

breath taking..

So comfortable over his lap... feeling so intimate.. shivering at his slight touch... raising her ass wanting more.. needing more....

His grip on her hair... she's under his control... she wants his control.. she needs it...

He lifts his hand and brings it down hard... she closes her eyes and gasps softly... his hand sinks into her soft flesh...

She's in heaven

Completely Helpless

I was in that position last week :) (more like the first picture, but I liked the second picture so I posted that too)... hand and feet tied together... legs spread wide.. totally exposed and NO room to move... well I could move my mouth that was about it... but that's usually not any help, if anything I have a unique ability to talk myself into more trouble

I was really surprised that only 2 ties can render me so helpless... I really couldn't move an inch... had no choice but to stay there and take what was delivered... and a lot was delivered  I can tell you that

I need to pee :(

I need to pee.. I need to pee... I need to pee... I need to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....
So not fair to not let me pee.. I know I was outta line yesterday but I"M HAVING BEER AT A HOTEL!!!!! I need to PEEEEEEEEEE.... its not like this is a luxury now

Blindfolded

An amazing feeling... as if all your other senses are working on overdrive...

You breath deeper and close your eyes and surrender to the experience... your skin is more receptive to each touch... you lick your lips waiting to be kissed.. not knowing when or if.. you have no idea which implement he will use.. or when he will strike.. you don't know when he will gently touch you...

You just wait for whatever he wants to do with you...

I need to learn to use colors

I know how confusing this is.. to keep saying "I can't, I can't, I can't take it" but yet never say "red". I know that without the "red" you take it as my usual whining and keep going.. even more aggressive than before... which is actually the right thing to do. Yet I can't seam to be able to get myself to say "red"... why? I don't know. Last time it could've been dangerous to continue as my skin was inflamed by the waxing from before. Thank you for stopping. I promise I will start using my colors...

I like it when....

You play with my hair...
You forcefully put my ass back in position when I move away...
You call me my baby...
You say "bonjour kiss" the moment you wake up...
You hug me as I sleep on your chest and watch tv...
You try new stuff that I was fantasizing of...
You slap my face then kiss me...
You grab my ass as I cook or clean...
You make me say "thank you sir" after each stroke...
You're so gentle yet so firm...

Pain and Tears

I don't cry because of physical pain. It just simply doesn't happen. I make all the crying sounds but not a single tear squeezes out. I like to believe I have a high pain threshold, but that's beside the point cuz don't get me wrong it really hurts, but just no tears.

On the other hand, you can say a few words.. and it pours...

You are magic!

You have an amazing  ability to de-stress me.  The aility to release is such a wonderful privilage for a sub 

Be careful what you wish for - Figging; a real account

A couple of years ago, I wrote a picture based story about figging. Well actually the pictures were from the internet and I came up with the story. (For anyone who doesn't know, figging is placing a peeled ginger root as a butt plug, which causes burning sensation)

To my delight, Master was intrigued by my little story and decided to try it out. I was estatic as I usually am when an old fantacy is about to come true....

My first experience wasn't very satisfying. The ginger root kept slipping out and it didn't deliver any of the burning sensation that was promised, only a little which wasn't enough. I think he felt it because we didn't attempt it again for sometime.

For an unknown reason we started ginger play again... aparently in our first time he used lubricant and that's what damped the effects. A couple of times later and the technique was perfected! And last week I had 2 ordeals of pure agony!

I even whimped out on one of them, 1 minute after the ginger was inserted I couldn't take it and the ginger plug was removed. Which was a huge emotional conflict for me. I was glad the ginger was out, the burning was too much for me to take, but at the same time I had this feeling that I lost a challenge. I'm not a whimp and I hate acting like one. Its complicated really... while its happening I know it was right to say I really couldn't take it, but after it was out and I was back to normal I felt guilty. My mind kept telling me yes you could take it, you needed to wait a little and try to adjust, why you whimped out so soon.

So part guilt driven, part bravado, and part because I had no choice really, another ginger session started with no objections from me. (By no objections I mean little objections). And I took it!!!! Yay me!! I was standing there in my pink high heels and sexy silk purple dress, bending over while the ginger went in, and walking gracefully all the way from the bathroom to the living room. Nevermind that grace was partially abandoned afterwards cuz this damn thing hurts like hell when you walk. The burning increased slowly with time... somehow sitting leaning on one side over pillows seamed to help.. concentrating on opening the wine bottle and pouring two glasses of wine did NOT help.. overall I think he was amused by my overall reactions as he had this nice smile on his face. The most important thing I took it till the end, till I was told to take it out. I was even patient to pose for a picture, that aparently needed FOREVER to take. It looked like this picture from my old story

First post..

Since its 6 a.m. on a weekend, there is not much creativity in me to come up with anything better than "First post.." But hey its a start. And usually once you get that annoying first post out of the way things start flowing. So there.. the first post

Its been a while since I blogged... Life has been too busy lately it seams I hardly have anytime to be on the internet. Which is a huge change in my life... I used to spent a lot of time online in the past few years.. its a welcomed change.

I've been requested to start this new blog by my Master.. He said: start it and make a post, never said anything about actually maintaining it, soooooooooo loopwhole right there... hehehe
Well, he's the reason why I don't have much time to be online anyway, so you'd think there will be no complaining, right? Wrong. It appears that a Dom's mind operate with a different set of logic. We will see....

Which direction is this blog taking? As usual I have no idea...